We were all receiving ‘Emama, some lollipop’ notes back in P.3 when Mr. Besigye was at the blackboard going on and on about First Aid and Kiss-of-life. You missed all the important things he said about these life-saving skills. Today is your first lucky day this year; I give you essential first aid tips that…
Welcome back to regular programming. To the UGgrind. To the hustle. To the mad dashes to work before showering. What will happen this year? Will you become rich and famous? Will super dip and cool cool bar come back into production? Will fuel become so cheap, we can start frying pancakes with it? Will more…
We are a third world country…so we all have that friend from the village. The one who mixes up l’s and r’s, pokes their nose, can’t use cutlery and can’t seem to sit still around shinny silverware. If, God-forbid, no name has come to mind MY FRIEND, then you are the friend from the village….
Your time spent skipping around the interwebs has made you very knowledgeable about how many phobias are out there. For example, you know that Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing, washing, or cleaning. Take some seconds off to give all your friends suffering from this a sympathetic pat on the butt. You didn’t learn about the following phobias probably…
A leading daily has reported that 100 cows belonging to the head of state and foreign affairs minister were stolen. The Rapid Response Unit (RRU) picked up some people and is currently holding them for their suspected involvement in the theft. While the RRU RRUshed to the scene of the crime to capture suspects, we…
Up until now, the social structure has made you measure your popularity among your peers by how much money you have, how sinewy your biceps are (for the guys. No girl I spoke to during the research confirmed finding her beefy girlfriends popular) or generally how much you can stuff down in five minutes when…
This particular piece is for the younger readers. Dear fairly old reader, most of the stuff you’ll read here will seem slightly obvious. I’d recommend taking a cup of tea if I was sure you had sugar. But I’m not. So yes, back to you dear young reader; many times you find yourself tired of…
Last week, news was everywhere about how a charitable soul had been taken captive by the powers that be. Bad Black aka Latifah Nalukenge aka Shanita Namuyimbwa was arrested. I took the weekend off to do some in-depth research into where this ‘young’ lady might have gotten all this money she’s been hitting people with….
It was a very hectic weekend here at the ULK headquarters, one that saw the back door kicked in and many of our top secret documents smudged with a gooey, oil-like substance, rendering the docs useless. All of you who were running scared because of how much information we had on you can now breathe…
Many of you have carefully considered joining a choir. You regularly sit by your radio set, listening to Steve Jean, hugging yourself and singing along word for word. This thirst for the choir-thing-in-life shouldn’t go unquenched. Here at ULK, we are in the benevolent habit of making dreams come true. And with the festive season…