Grandad-Junior banter I

Junior…Juuuniiooor…now where did this young chap go off to. Juuniooor…oh, there you are. Now, why do you stay quiet when I’m yelling my lungs sore. Come here. What were you doing? What? Why are you whispering? You were doing what? Playing video games? Tell me, what’s the game you were playing called? Breaking and entering, how to do it? My God! (scratching my gray hair)…listen to your grand father, those games aren’t good for you. I taught you how to play dullu and ponjo didn’t I ? Why don’t you play those? And how come the kids next door never come to see you? They are what? They aren’t cool? Now Junior, you cannot say something like that…that’s a mean thing to say. The last time I saw you leave the house was two weeks ago. You never get any exercise. Don’t even say that again, you’ll make us look bad…I’ve corrected you before; playing soccer virtual games isn’t exercising…

You seem to spend your whole day either playing virtual games or updating your profile on that thing…what’s it called? Phase X? Anyway, whatever it’s called…it reminds me of something we had in our day, Facebook. It had all the ‘cool’ people on it…Personally, I thought it was over-rated. I didn’t quite get what all the excitement was about. It even had things for ‘sending gift cards’ and ‘passing drinks’ to others…I see you smiling that wry smile of yours. I am your old man, I can guess what you are thinking…How weak could we be? Well, we set the trend that led to your Phase X thing…I always thought, if you want to send someone a gift card, go straight ahead and send them one-a real one. The whole e-card was just an excuse to pretend you actually remembered and that you cared…obviously not enough to send the real thing. I figured, if it was to be E-anything, one ought to send a nice, well-thought-out message. Type an e-mail…I always that would mean more than that funny e-card stuff. Heck, I figured even a simple text would make more sense than e-cards. And Junior, you know what made things even worse? The e-cards were ugly…don’t laugh. Anyway, go ahead and laugh…it’s been a while since I saw you laugh. I was starting to think that finally the family had a grouch. You don’t know what a grouch is? Well, a grouch is someone who is always complaining. And have I seen my fair share of those. We had this guy in our day who contested for president, twice. I cannot quite remember his name. We all thought he had the right stuff to take the top seat but Junior, time brings out the true nature of a man…it wasn’t long before we realized that the he was no different from the man he wanted to replace…he was darker, yes, but he was a grouch. He never seemed to say anything good.

I always hated politics. I always thought it was a reserve for the talkers…we the doers were busy, you know, doing. Anyway, I get carried away. I was still telling you about this over-rated thing we had, Facebook. That ‘pass a drink’ thing was the most ridiculous. I always thought, now that I have the drink, do I suck it out of the monitor? Or do I stare at it till I get high. You don’t know what being high is? Well, keep it that way till you are 18. These guys figured we were too excited about drinks, we’d ‘take’ them in any form, e-form inclusive. I felt it was insulting, even to a social drinker like me. You are burning to say something…I can see. What? I am a grouch?

Hahahahahahahah..hahahahah…ahhhhaa. Oh, Junior, you crack me up. Hahahaha. A grouch indeed. Why do you say that? I see…you actually have a point. Its true, I am going on and on about how bad Facebook was…so I must be a grouch. Let me redeem myself…it had some nice aspects. For one, it enabled us stay in touch with all our friends around the world. And it allowed us to see the person behind the person…you know, you’d tell more about a person from what they’d write on people walls…Phase X also has walls right? I thought so. Also, you’d be online and see other friends of yours online; but some would never say hullo…and some just didn’t answer messages. Well, it helped us sieve our friends. My major issue with it was that I always thought there was an ulterior motive…think about it Junior, why would you put all ‘your things’ online? Name, birthday, photos of family, friends, enemies, pets, home…everything. Isn’t that in the least bit spooky? And do you know what the bright people who run Facebook said? They said that everything that was posted at their site was theirs. Hold up…there’s this interview of the Facebook owner that I once read. Bring that phone of yours here…search for Mark Zuckerberg. Aaahhh, there…there’s a particular interview he did with Fortune magazine that I want. Get me some water first…this phone of yours is so complicated.

Ahhh, here it is. Read it out… “…his vision goes well beyond the site as a digital phonebook. It becomes the equivalent of the phone itself: it is the main tool people use for work and pleasure. It also becomes the central place where members organize parties, store pictures, find jobs, watch videos and play games. Eventually they’ll use their Facebook ID as an online passkey to gain access to websites and online forums that require personal identification. In…”

Ahh, stop there..that’s enough. Interesting. You see Junior, we laid the foundation. Be that as it may, my biggest issue with the whole social networking thing was always the bit of having my life ‘out there’. Are you following? Don’t nod your head yet I can clearly see that you are lost…You see Junior, my photos-I always worried about what would happen after I hit the upload key. Anyone online would have access to them if they so wanted. Friends, in-laws, lovers, almost-lovers…haters. I always worried about that last category. How much could my personal information be used against me? My name, age, friends, photos…everything. I wondered where to draw the line on privacy. What is private? What isn’t? What should be private? What shouldn’t? I clearly remember this story of someone who had just got a job at Cisco…it was a hot shot international company those days, much like that Blue Bolt company of today. Anyway, the guy starts bragging about his new job on twitter…don’t laugh Junior, I know the names of some of our things were funny. It sounds like what? Hahaha..oh Junior. I agree, it does sound like a birds name. Anyway, he brags and says he isn’t so sure he wants to take on the job since he hates the work but loves the pay. A boss from Cisco comes across the page and can you guess what happened? Ahhhahaha….no, he didn’t get a raise Junior.

Anyway, run along now…I insist, you should leave the house today. Go say hullo to the neighbors. First get me another glass of water before you leave…what’s that canned drink you are holding? Rat’s piss? Ahahahahahhaha…now why did they call it that? You don’t seem to know either…I wish you knew what piss meant in our day…now, now, go and play, we’ll talk more some other time…