Getting served

The gauntlet was dropped and I had to pick it up. Sleek is above this stuff, or so he keeps telling himself; I, Wild, had to come in and do the thing. Streetsider issued a challenge (read started something he can’t win) when he started this rap battle. He picked up the mic, got onto stage and in front of a whole two-strong audience, he let it rip. Yes, he passed air. (euuugh!). Then he started rhyming about me. His sleek-hating message somehow got to me. Oh, his message is here. I never pass off a challenge; save for that one time a heavily biceped HER asked if we could arm wrestle. I hit my ‘confuse them’ button and did just that till they were laughing so hard that I slipped away unnoticed. There’s no telling what havoc that HER was capable of doing to my arm. Now streetsider, eat this:

(raggaeton, kadongokamu mix in the background)

(I throw my hood back, step onto stage, wink at the screaming gals at the front; wink at ALL of them, a wink per gal. This takes a while. I sip from that glass of water they leave for us on stage…I get the mic)

(raggaeton, kadongokamu mix now throbbing in sync with my heartbeat)

Streetsider, the scrawny,

Slurred speech, once brainy,

Now the definition of intellectual constipation,

Man, you are still out on probation,

Don’t leave rehab yet, you need it,

And when will you stop bed-wetting,

Skip the grillz, skip the two-kg chains, skip the accent man,

Skip the weed, and the pink shoes dude,

You started this and went into hiding,

I’ll lure you out with a banana and give you a hiding,

Stop stutt-tutta-tutta-tuttering,

Quit blabbering,

Me rhyming to lingala?,

Heck, you are lingala,

You’ve been making ‘em beats since you could sit,

Showing ‘em kids in kindergarten how to do the kwasa kwasa,

And groping the teacher when you was two,

With hormones raging that early, what else could you do,

If we gave you enough time you’d still not get any game

Nakku changed her number six times and got a disguise

(Streetsider’s voice…kyokka Nakku, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants)