A letter to sperm

Dear sperm,

The Malayans have a saying that goes, “One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind.” Sperm, you are one of the kind ones. Thank you oh so much. I am forever indebted to you for going out of your way, taking time off of your I’m sure very demanding schedule to continuously send me comments.

Dude, I love you man. I know I do not say it a lot, but…(lump in my throat), you make this whole thing called life…you make it orgasmic. I know, you thought I was going to use that cliché, make life worth living. But sperm seriously, you know me better than that. Me and you, we be tight dawg. I see you chuckle….chuckle at how B2b has changed the way I talk. Dawg. I know, I know. I drew the line at wearing heavy jeans and grills. On those I told him, “Basiks, we be dawgs but them jeans they be too heavy man. And them grills ain’t gon get me action from me chics men!”. So we agreed to not agree. Arrgh, you thought a cliché was on the way.

Sperm, you have always been there for me. Even when I’d just started blogging and had no traffic kabisa, I could count on you to drop more than a comment or two. In fact, you overworked my first blog and the database got messed up coz of your comments. Naye you overlove me. Even when people think they have socks, I know you beat them to it, I just do not allow your stuff to appear.

But dude, I have some points of contention. Among the comments you sent me were these:

Free Viagra: I’m still young and energetic (wink wink) so I still have those affairs under control

xanax for dizziness: Thanks but no thanks. I’ll settle for a glass of water for any dizziness

Excellent site. It was pleasant to me: Pleasant? Dude, this ain’t Shakespeare, it’s Sleek!

Very interesting site. Hope it will always be alive! I hope so too. Nodesix, please keep this site alive, the people, through sperm, have spoken

bikini dare preview image: I am at work. I cannot preview from here.

secret resorts.com: Thanks for this one. I’ll forward it to Rhino

free girl on girl action: This is really Erique’s territory. And I’m at work. People think highly of me here. I can’t be pocketing and making lame conversation to try to take attention away from bulges

All said, there’s no getting rid of you. Shontelle and Akon say they are stuck in each other. Not sure whether that’s a good thing to be singing about. You and I, we are stuck with each other. I know I’ll hear from you soon.

XXX (meaning confidential, highly rated, secret)

Sleek.