Monday Massacres: Let’s dance

This heavenly stuff is brought to you by: 

I Sleek, formally denounce all the other sponsors who brought you this ish. At my lowest, they took advantage of me. And threw their money at me. And I threw myself at them. And we met somewhere in the middle. And I tussled it out with the dime, an upper cut, a lower blow, one to the temple, blood and gore all over….I later came to and limped to the offces of THE OFFICIAL SPONSOR. I clutched the massacres tightly in my fist, limping up every step, drops of blood marking my path…Finally, I made it to THE OFFICIAL SPONSOR BIG DOG’s office. And he read the stuff. And they sponsored. 

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Let me point this out. Look here. Critically. You may need a pen for this. Seriously. Let’s get those pens…

LIFE
Now that you are all settled in, let me point this out. Rubbing shoulders with the high-and-mighty can leave your shoulder numb. Or your shirt worn out. I know I have short-changed you, I know you are thinking…wtf!! I knew that! Like going to get some action and after holding hands for three hours, she tells you, “ Hurry! My Dad will be here any minute, you HAVE to GO!!”. Like watching a two hour movie and all they do is talk talk and talk. Like being in a queue for an hour and when you get there the lady screams “What? What? Condoms? We do not sell those here. Try the grocery store next to the chapel.” Like falling asleep at 20 and waking up to find 4 rug rats calling you Daddy, beckoning you to join them as they swim in the mud.

MUSIC

Kojjo, my bootlegging friend, has gotten me a number of good tings. Yes, tings. Me a learn patois so go so me a dem, blah!. Anyway, last week he sent me a copy of Riri’s lyrics. Original handwrit Riri lyrics. Some on bubble gum wrappers, some on used rubber wrappers, some on tissue, and some writ on paper with Einstein’s photo. Hold up, I think I have that paper somewhere here.

Yes, the Riri lyrics were writ everywhere. Excerpts:

Song 1: UmburRElla, rrrreeehh, eellah, elllaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (continued on another bubble gum wrapper that Kojjo didn’t send. I think it is safe to assume that the rest of the lyrics are something like..)

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Song 2: We gon run this village tonight….(I think at sing time, village was replaced with another word. Ed.). We gon run this village tonight…eeeehhhhheeeeehhhhheheheheheheheheehehheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(smudge of lipstick on paper and  some tobacco, couldn’t make out the rest of the lyrics)

Song 3: (This one hasn’t hit the airwaves yet but Kojjo assured me that it has captured the imagination of Riri’s pets. They can’t sit still soon as the song starts playing. They fidget and occasionally yelp in excitement, later leaving the room in couples). And because, on occasion, I ogle Riri, I won’t give away her secret song just like that fwaaa. She an I, her and me, we…we…connect. We know that music is about letting out that cry of derision. That long wail. That SOS. Or in this case SMS.(Save My Soul). Letting out that long breath you save just for the microphone. And it’s a gift, this long breath. The lyrics…oooooohhhhh,aaarrrhh, ooooohhhh, arrrgghhh…