Monday massacres: Thinking caps

This post is entirely intarekcho. Entirely. You are probably used to the deep, mind-provoking drivel that this guy spews. But this here is even more intarekcho than all the other posts put together. So intarekcho, we’ll all have to assume The Thinking position to understand whattagwan. You do not know The Thinking Position? You do not know The Thinking Position? You do not…(you know that guy who tells a story and gets to the part where he realizes you do not know something/someone he is referring to in the aforementioned claptrap? And then he strings it out, repeating the same inane question over and ooover again: you do not know what ducks say when they come? You do not know what ducks say….Look here weirdo, notice how everyone avoids you? I am here coz all the other seats were taken, shit on me for being late. Get on with the ghastly story before I reach over and squeeze your tie till your eyes pop and your heart rushes out through your derriere).

Yes, that venom outta the way, we were here: You do not know The Thinking Position? You do not know The Thinking Position ? (hulk of a man reaches over to squeeze Sleek by his dark blue tie, hoping that Sleek’s eyes will pop and his heart will rush out through his derriere. Sleek notices his impending demise and quickly gets on with the story).

The Thinking position was invented by Edward Sphincter in 1892 in an effort to give the intellectuals of the time the much sought after ‘je ne sais quoi’ that they all so wanted. It was a position that the likes of Isaac Newton, Archimedes, Casanova, Van Goph, Don Juan and all them sharp people assumed when deep in thought. Because of the punch that this position had, the royal family saw it fit that only certified intellectuals could assume this position. Heck, they didn’t want the ordinary lay man with an ordinary IQ just assuming the thinking position. Just like that. Fwaa. Nope. Nada. You needed to have a royal seal on your kahunas to assume the position. Thousands of people where sent to jail for illegally assuming the position: men courting women, pretending to be philosophers, daft chaps trying to look intellectual, whores attracting classy customers, police officers skipping duty…the list is endless. It was a joke of the time: ‘He/ She has gone to thinking prison’. Not a funny joke if you ask me.

There is extensive literature about this wonderful position. Dan Brown has an in-depth expose on the position. Dan Brown? Or Dung Brown? Arrgh, my memory fails me but one of the two. Google them. You could also get more info from the inventor, Edward Sphincter’s wiki page here. Click it. I managed to get a pic of the famous guy in the famous position:

I haven’t checked, and my snitch in Parliament is taking years to get back to me on whether this kinda thing is illegal. But I doubt. So let’s go a-thinking: use the position…Erique and Streetsider, it may not have to be a statue. Some blogren could volunteer…