Monday Massacres: Collecting

Yes, you guessed it…this stuff is brought to you by:

We support this guy. His healthy ways and his fight for a healthier blogville through his aha-moment giving articles on the pros of a healthy lifestyle…

##############################

I went running yesterday. Who didn’t? The whole world was there, and then some. If you turned your head sideways, your face would meet HIS/HER armpit hair. AT ANY POINT ALONG THE WAY. So you had to run straight, face never wavering.

MTN Kampala marathon…these running things are over-rated. But you know how that girl eats the big guy’s ‘chips and chicken’ thinking she’s so smart…till one day the guy comes ‘TO COLLECT’. (We need to say that in a deep baritone, and in unison. Let’s try again…)…and then the guy comes ‘TO COLLECT’. Ahhh, good class. A sweet for you Antipop, you excelled.

Now these MTN chaps have been putting cash into these massacres. And I have been that marketing tool that they loved…but that tool that doesn’t say ‘How high?’ when they say ‘Jump’. Till yesterday that is. Two guys clad in black accosted me as I made my way, whistling like I owned the street, to my source of nutritional delights; the rolex guy. The goons in black pushed me into a car, a very small starlet, and forced a screaming Sleek to sign up for a 10Km run ‘for fun’. Pish! Run 10Km ‘for fun!’ Dudes, I’m not demented; I know that 10Km=10,000m=fainting=heart-stoping=kiss-of-life-from-hot-nurse-from-Kadic-hospital-to-rescuscitate-Sleek=…wait! The race may not be that bad…so after they’d gagged, tortured, mowed my eye brows…I signed.

Starting line saw me, face drawn, amidst 20,000 people clad in yellow vests…and very interesting skimpy ‘lower things’ for the ladies who know how to keep brothers motivated in trying moments like these. A lot was at stake. The buzz words for the next few weeks in Kampala are going to be, “How long did you take?”, and any guy worth his salt ought to have done them 10Kms in less than an hour. I doubt I made it…those manly points, I missed. The whole world was on the streets, running, walking, riding…Congs to all y’all who made it (southern drawl). Let the muscle pulls, and aching muscles, and sleep bouts bless your week. Personally, I had to be at work soon after the run…

And some characters took the day: we were all running in one direction…and we come across a guy, obviously part of the race from the way he was dressed, but running in the opposite direction. Says we, “Dude, the route is in that direction. Why are you running in the opposite direction”

Says dude: “I am running the Warid marathon.”

It was hard enough running; those who managed to run in jeans, big-ups. And Richard, my buddy, insisted that the lady behind him was running in a gomesi, with first aid kits stashed under it.

And for all those who had low expectations:

But this stuff is all about the mind…your body can take it, but can your mind?