Bazzed

There I was chilling. We ought to start more posts like that. The imagery depends on who is writing the statement…some illustration if I may.

Carsozy: There I was chilling…

In blog-reader’s mind: Carsozy seated in a dingy, make-shift bar that will collapse if anyone coughs too loud…Carsozy sucking from a straw, out of a malwa pot, making merry, cracking jokes with all the other malwa-takers…occasionally turning down advances from Salai, the malwa-serving lady…

(PS: Malwa, for you upscale people who don’t know Carsozy, malwa is local brew made out of…ahh, who cares. It is local brew, period.)

Erique: There I was chilling…

IBRM: Erique, playing video games in which with every win, a certain damsel is relieved of an article of clothing…

Lulu: There I was chilling…

IBRM: Lulu, watching movies with a strange setting and poor acting with the volume turned down low lest aroused neighbors knock at the door and ask to borrow the movie immediately…

Streetsider: There I was chilling…

IBRM: Narcotics, legal and illegal…but mostly illegal…but what does the law know about nirvana?

Sleek: There I was chilling…

IBRM: Sleek, at the beach, surrounded by a bevy of reporters asking for freebies…him fending them off, insisting that his gold chain isn’t for sale, fighting off the rowdy reporter who keeps reaching for his drink.

So, there I was chilling, skiing through blogville, looking at what the wild, wicked and the tame, timid were up to. I was wandering past granpa’s place, the Godfather, when I saw some scribbling that seemed like my name up there, on his wall. I leaned in and was shocked, the Godfather had writ about me. So I leaned even closer to read what he had to say. The tirade of accusations jumped off the wall and grabbed me. This guy, he has strong words.

So, Baz, earnestly accused me of impersonating him. Me? Me? Looking at the mountain of accusations being thrown my way, let me say this to the crowd baying for my blood.  ”Calm down. Calm down. Hear me out. I did not impersonate Baz”. Ok, I did. Once. Just for just. Not many times. I am not skilled at these impersonating things. Erique is. He has been impersonating class and sophistication all this time. And hi-fiving with Streetsider. And hiding the trio’s make-up so that they can get acne and go into hiding.

So after I impersonated, Baz tried to impersonate me. He wrote a comment pretending to be me. But his poor grammar gave him away, and the world started to ask questions…wagwan with the Godfather? If while impersonating Sleek, Baz has poor grammar yet he uses bombastic words at his own blog, who writes for him? Is there a ploy that has us duped? Is there a Nabweteme doing all his typing? Is the Godfather a sham? We need answers…we, the inhabitants of blogville, we wanna know wagwan…