It is

Heavy heart, be still…Heavy heart, be still…okay, for a second there I was going Princess on you.

It was a very fast day. HE was at work. After turning down repeated advances from the heavy-laden receptionist, heavy-laden because of very ample mounds positioned firmly on upper torso, positioned in a way that, as many of their kind, they were more imposing than the unfortunate carrier, unfortunate because she didn’t know just how much power she carried around…After turning those advances down, HE sat at his desk and started to go through shit-loads of work, only coming up from the clutter to sip katunda. Katunda, juice, is the stuff that fuels the country’s economy by way of :

1. Beating the hangover

2. Allowing itself to be served to the MP by the mistress the morning after his ‘long trip to meet his constituents’

So, when HE was finally done with work, he looked up to see that it was fast approaching 2100hrs. So he rang DK to find out how fast HE needed get to BHH.

DK: BHH? ah, you’ve missed. We are re-locating. Kels was here and he did ‘Happy people’, he dedicated it to all the illiterati, i think he was going for Illuminati but for literary people, thus illiterati..he even..

(girly screams in the background, younger girly screams too)

DK: (continues) Oh, that’s him these femmes are gushing about. One of them just (static) and she’s (lots of static) She even offered to blow (more phone static)

ME: (shouting) Dude, I can barely hear you…

DK: (oblivious to the bad connection) And you won’t believe what he just did…he..he just..

(more very young girls screaming…)

DK: (still going on) he is now reaching over and….

(goat bleating)

Word from The Streetsider has it that BHH was ok. And that they re-located, en-mass, to a dingy place where they all sunk into a shit-load of debauchery. And some intelligent banter. Like:

Baz: That one, you see her (using his one good eye to point her out)

27th: By all means my good man, yes, my eyes have caught a whiff of her exuberance (sic)

Baz: (still chewing on the word ‘exuberance‘, wondering whether it’s in the right sentence) Those ones, (using his hands to draw ‘the big picture’), are they real?

January 29th, 2010 true stuff