Sleek and Wild

Monday Massacres:BHH rally

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To good times…

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The Mercedes slowed to a stop. The paparazzi, like starved flies descending on poop, attacked the car from all directions. Some carrying spears. Actually one carrying a spear. The beefy bodyguards sprang into action, swatting the flies outta the way. And pushing some paparazzi outta the way too. When some semblance of sanity had been restored outside the car, HE stepped out. As is instructed in the car manual, HE first put one foot out, waited for a reaction from the assembled crowd; then HE put out the other foot. Satisfied with the slight aaaaahhh from the gathered crowd, HE stepped out fully. Blue-striped shirt, black slacks and a raised eyebrow. Flash. Click. Flash. Time for his company to step out…the siren took HER time to get to the door (Mercedes can be really long) and when SHE finally did, SHE almost tripped…almost. HE stepped in and steadied HER step. Flash. Click. Flash.

Mateos was already an anthill of activity. Erique, B2b, Streetsyder, The Edge, Oli?, Normzo, Jny23 n Naome, Carsozy, Lulu, Safyre constituted the welcoming committee. They were, as welcoming committees usually are, seated, slowly getting drunk (except Normzo, nooo Sir! He likes these things faster faster), and making light (and in a secluded corner) heavy conversation.

Usually the most discreet creature (having studied the ways of the Amazon Ooga Agaa people), HE glided into their company unnoticed and soon started making animated contributions to the ‘Is Stewie a god’ conversation? SHE sashayed in 2 seconds behind HIM. Pause.

“I like Stewie. He always has the most profound punch lines,” Normzo

“But unlike you Normzo, for me I just like stew in any form. Oba Chicken stew. Oba beef stew. Atte there’s this place I went to which had chickenut stew, a mixture of chicken and g-nuts”. Streetsider

“Bati you Streetsider, that Chickenut stew turned out to be really nice. Though for me I prefer gonja with vegetable stew. Diet issues,” Erique.

Blank stares. Gulp. The music stops. DJ fumbles to play number 3, lest people start to hear each others’ thoughts. HE saw a great opportunity to change topic.

“What would it be like to have Stewie for president? For example, there’s this matter of Sleek for blogger president…”

“Do you know that that Sleek guy was once a president those days. Hehe, you play play with that guy. Those those days he wasn’t like you see him now” Bystander paid to say that exact statement. With better grammar but it’d have to do. The deal was he walks off after. But he lingered, prolly trying to squeeze for more dollars.

HIM, grabbing the ball and running with it, “Yes, that guy would actually handle. Do you know what the first point on his manifesto says? It says that if voted into power, he’d allow bloggers to write posts…(pregnant pause)…WITH THEIR MINDS! Yes, the thing bees typed out as you think it. Of course this facility would come with a porn-filter to help guys so that certain bits of their thoughts don’t make it onto paper. Otherwise posts would be…anyway, the porn-filter would also be given to Gikobwa, for free. And also Petesmama. “

SHE “Oso me can I get that filter?”

HE: I don’t see why not. Your thoughts seem to need it. (Feeling HE’D talked too much, makes a move to change topic, again)

HE: “jny23 and Naome, don’t you think this beer’s too salty…does it remind you of anything?”

And they all fell for it, and talked at length about the composition of beer (all the while sipping it of course), and the joys of its consumption. And also the joys of the good life God has given each of us. And the need to make good use of the gift.

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The writer insists that this is how the things played out. If you disagree…well you disagree. Noticeably absent: Santosh, King, BAZ

But the thing, it was nice. Turn-up was nice, convo was good (esp that part about a certain presidency). Till next time. Great week.

PS: Photo respectfully nicked from here

   March 1st, 2010    Monday Massacres...Bollocks