Monday Massacres: Black Monday

This stuff, it is brought to you by:

Small and lethal, this baby has been known to leave havoc in its wake…and Normzo uses it to brush his teeth. And also Carsozy uses it as mint. And Streetsider has never even tasted it. And Payo ‘gears up’ with it…Gikobwa doesn’t know what she’s missing. Today’s massacres were penned by Safyre….awesomeness just. Two years, 5 days after he said he’d pen them, he did. Take it away Safyre.

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There’s a lady who works in an office next to ours. I see her every day on my way in. I look at her, she hears footsteps and looks up, at me. I look away and keep moving till I reach our office.

Sometimes I meet her at the stage when I’ve retired for the day. I manage to cough up a greeting. She mutters a response. I’m almost sure she’s not quite fond of me.

Anyway, of late I’d developed a string of ‘reasons’ that would get me to walk into her office just to look at her. The one that has succeeded the most is going over there to ask for a key. What the key does is not important to the story, but it’s a pretty useful key!

I went there a few times, when her boss was around, so I cracked my jokes with him instead. I think they are prohibited from laughing when the boss is around. A series of attempts later yielded a much desired result. I went there after hours and she was there. I was shocked to learn that the office actually had 3 ladies, instead of the two I normally see. And the third was the fairest of them all!

Anyway, I was not to deviate from the original plan just yet, so I asked for that key. She pointed at where it was, implying that I should get it for myself. I obliged. I turned heel and stormed out. A man with a purpose. I returned shortly after, armed with the key to inevitable destiny. What followed was as shocking as it was silly. I asked her if they had another key that opens the same door.

They looked at me with faces showing surprise and disbelief. I repeated my question. The fair one asked me whether the key worked or not. I said that it did, though I believed there was another key, since it’s not the one I’d used the last time I was there. By this time, ‘my lady’ was laughing uncontrollably.

Then Ms Fairest spoke up. “What’s with all the questions?” That’s when I noticed her. I stammered the question again. This time they could not hold back their laughter. I smiled, bowed gracefully, and promised that next time, I’ll not hold back. It was more of a threat than a promise. I said we’ll continue the debate the next day. As I was approaching our office, I overheard them talking about my ‘silliness.’ At least I made an impression.

Now off to undo the damages my rep could have sustained.