Posts Under true stuff Category
We are scheduled to beat-up our neighbor this weekend. Not very neighborly behavior but every so often, a nation’s got to put her buddies in their place. For you who UMEME has kept in the dark to the point that you’ve learnt how to charge your phone without electricity, you probably do not know that…
You may be from a remote part of Uganda where there is no internet; you spend your days running away from lions and as such, you may not have caught your breath long enough to hear of how Kazoora took Sean Kingston’s wrist watch from him on stage. It all went down this past weekend….
The weekend was an artsy one, with the Bayima International Festival of the Arts taking place at the National Theatre. Ok, there was also Sean Kingston but it was full. The place not the artiste. The festival started on Friday so I sneaked in to watch one of the first acts, the Lantern Meet of…
Hi there. How are you? Your response will determine whether I’ll have breakfast or not. Look into your monitor and speak. You seem to be new here. Yes, you. By ‘here’ I’m referring to our nice, quaint nation. Come, let me show you around. I may need to define a few things for you. Let…
We at ULK cordially welcome Southern Sudan to the independent state frock. We aren’t THAT many so it’s a league to be proud of. Southern Sudan, think of an independent state like a teenage boy with a jerking problem. A teenage girl may ask him “Can I help you?” and he’ll say “No! I can…
You may have heard the wicked whispers going round about our former vice president, Professor Gilbert Bukenya. That he was replaced because he is so passionate about rice farming, he’d started trying to pay for everything with rice seeds. Mbu at a fuel station in Kololo, rumor has it he asked his driver to withdraw…
This week, Sharon O is not up for eviction. Eviction is when Big Brother goes to the room you’ve called home for a few weeks, picks up your multi-colored hair piece, the packs of rubbers you carried but never got to use, the inflatable doll you actually used, the lotion too, your hanky, your pliers,…
Bomb blasts went off at a very popular hangout last night. It’s one of those things where you get the news and you just don’t want to believe it. I honestly have little faith in our popos but for all that’s at stake, I hope that this time round they surprise us and actually get…
When I grow up, I want to do many things. I want to sell crack on a corner, and run from the popos when they come. And I want to say “Bad manners to the popos” as I show them one of my fingers. The middle finger preferably since flashing it has yielded angst and…
Schwarzenegger was a choir boy. He was the strongest voice in the choir. And he was a great great soloist. You don’t know who a soloist is? It’s that person who says “Me me me me me(frantic waving of arms)” when choir-master asks “Who wants to sing this part here alone?”. So yeah, Schwarz was…