It is hard to write with tears in your eyes. I last cried this much when the neighbor’s cat ate my rabbits. Who does that? Which self-respecting cat leaves the milk and nkeje at home and goes and eats rabbits at the neighbors? So we took on Kenya over the weekend and the barren match…
We are scheduled to beat-up our neighbor this weekend. Not very neighborly behavior but every so often, a nation’s got to put her buddies in their place. For you who UMEME has kept in the dark to the point that you’ve learnt how to charge your phone without electricity, you probably do not know that…
You may be from a remote part of Uganda where there is no internet; you spend your days running away from lions and as such, you may not have caught your breath long enough to hear of how Kazoora took Sean Kingston’s wrist watch from him on stage. It all went down this past weekend….
The weekend was an artsy one, with the Bayima International Festival of the Arts taking place at the National Theatre. Ok, there was also Sean Kingston but it was full. The place not the artiste. The festival started on Friday so I sneaked in to watch one of the first acts, the Lantern Meet of…
Hi there. How are you? Your response will determine whether I’ll have breakfast or not. Look into your monitor and speak. You seem to be new here. Yes, you. By ‘here’ I’m referring to our nice, quaint nation. Come, let me show you around. I may need to define a few things for you. Let…
Over the weekend, I was minding my own business, staring intently through slightly-parted curtains to see what my neighbor was having for lunch. 1 hour 40 minutes and I still couldn’t make it out. Then a moth somehow floated onto one of the curtains and started to speak. Below are a few of the magnificent…
I was out over the weekend doing my annual inspection of bars; you know, doing basic checks to find out what allure these shindigs present after dark. Pure research. I run into a couple of buddies and they told me that beer prices had gone up. I’d heard rumors in the news before about beer…
I watched the Big Brother Amplified finale last night. Former stripper, Karen from Nigeria and Zimbabwean pilot, Wendall won this year’s edition of the show. The highly informative show tackles issues that concern the youth and keep them up at night, tossing and turning; issues like “How do I take someone’s clothes off without using…
You probably had one of those weekends that involved you leaving the country on a clandestine trip to Afghanistan to deal with some bearded beings causing mayhem. Or you had to supervise a rabbit mating ceremony that your company sponsors every year. Or you had to do the dishes, clean the house, do the laundry…
Every so often, the police get tired of sitting around eating simsim balls and listening to Kenny Rogers. Whenever this happens, they call Milton, the guy who keeps the company breathalyzers under lock and key, and they tell him to bring them out. They then stand by the road leading to your home to test…