We at ULK cordially welcome Southern Sudan to the independent state frock. We aren’t THAT many so it’s a league to be proud of. Southern Sudan, think of an independent state like a teenage boy with a jerking problem. A teenage girl may ask him “Can I help you?” and he’ll say “No! I can…
I watched Golola Moses of Uganda take on a chubby Sudanese opponent on Friday at Hotel Africana in a kickboxing bout. They were fighting for a big-ass African Kickboxing belt and bragging rights. Kickboxing is the sport that allows you not only to use your legs to deliver all kinds of bodily harm to your…
You may have heard the wicked whispers going round about our former vice president, Professor Gilbert Bukenya. That he was replaced because he is so passionate about rice farming, he’d started trying to pay for everything with rice seeds. Mbu at a fuel station in Kololo, rumor has it he asked his driver to withdraw…
This week, Sharon O is not up for eviction. Eviction is when Big Brother goes to the room you’ve called home for a few weeks, picks up your multi-colored hair piece, the packs of rubbers you carried but never got to use, the inflatable doll you actually used, the lotion too, your hanky, your pliers,…
This here is a quick guide on how to drive in Kampala. If you are from those outside countries that only portray this pearl as having lions roaming untamed through the streets, occasionally running wild and biting the random ass on the street, this is to dispel that myth. Lions do not roam our streets….
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Not only was the weekend long, it was also quite eventful. You see: The Cow Got A Wife There was an awesome play showing at the National Theatre on Friday. The play had won 3rd place in a BBC play-writing competition judged by Wole Soyinka. I’d listened to the play more than once, and interviewed…
There were shouts of joy in all parts of the country when the full cabinet list was released last week. On the streets of Kampala, people were spontaneously bursting into song, hailing the powers that be by raising their voices in song. Anyone listening could make out such mighty jams as “Macarena”, “Sunda” and “Run…
I know it is hard to take in the fact that some people are now in nirvana, sipping on spiked coconut juice, looking into each other’s eyes singing Kumbaya and swinging in Hammocks while listening to the latest Kenny Rogers jam. I know it is hard to take in the fact that you were left…
You are a manager of a soccer club somewhere. And you are also an ardent reader of ULK. But you’ve never won the premier league. You dream of the day you’ll walk back home, the precious cup tucked under your arm, rubbing expensively against your skin. You dream that you’ll gruffly kick open the door…
The Mith had a release party last Friday. We told you who The Mith is here. There are different kinds of release parties. There’s the kind where, celebrating release from jail, a former inmate goes on a happiness binge, drinking, yodeling, running along village paths screaming “I am freeee!”, hanging out at Virgin Island and…